


Betrayal!

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Background Sara Rubin/Shane Madej, Fellatio, M/M, Masturbation, Podfic Welcome, Rimming, candy corn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 11:19:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16217948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Ryan and Shane have very different opinions on candy corn.





	Betrayal!

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I was eating candy corn the whole time I wrote this, because for some reason I can't remember what it tastes like.

Ryan betrayed Shane on a chilly (as chilly as LA got, at any rate) October evening.

Admittedly, Ryan probably didn’t view it as a betrayal, but Ryan was flat out Wrong about that, so wrong that it warranted a capital letter.

It had been a boring evening - the two of them put a movie on in the background, Shane working on scripts for Ruining History, Ryan falling down the rabbit hole that was researching true crime.

At some point, Ryan came up for air and went to the kitchen with the bowl that their popcorn had been in.

Shane wasn’t paying attention - he was still trying to figure out if it would be bad taste to go on a digression about Coco Chanel starting the fad for tanning while also talking about her Nazi connections, and his hand went into the popcorn bowl.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even realize what it was that he was chewing on, until his brain processed it.

First there was the fact that the texture was wrong - none of the familiar dissolving softness, met with a comforting crunch. It was chalky, then yielding, breaking apart in his molars.

Then there was the flavor. No slight earthiness, no salt, no butter.

Just sweetness, sweetness and chemicals that somehow managed to taste past their expiration date, and who even knew that chemicals _had_ an expiration date.

He coughed, spat into his hand, and then he frowned. 

“What the fuck?!”

Ryan looked up from his writing haze, blinking.

“What’s up?”

“What _is_ this?!”

Shane indicated the bowl in between them, which was full of… candy corn.

“Oh,” said Ryan. “The supermarket was having a sale, and it’s the right season for it, so I got a bunch of candy corn.”

“You voluntarily brought candy corn _into your home_?!”

"... yes?"

Ryan looked at Shane sidelong, his expression concerned. 

"How can you do that to yourself?! Don't you _love_ yourself?"

"Didn't you hold a Debatable episode about candy corn? Why didn't you say anything then?"

"I was the host," said Shane, and he reached for his glass of water, glugging it back and making a face. "I couldn't voice an opinion."

His mouth still tasted like expired chemicals and corn syrup.

Urrrgh. 

"I have literally seen you eat _waterbugs_ , and now you're complaining about fucking candy corn?"

Ryan's expression was incredulous.

"I would eat a million waterbugs before I ate another piece of candy corn," said Shane. 

"I didn't know you felt that strongly about it," said Ryan. 

"How could I not, when it's just that _gross_?"

"I've eaten that horrible Swedish... thing that smelled like ammonia and _death_ ," said Ryan. "You'd think that I'd know about gross, wouldn't you?"

"You believe in ghosts," said Shane. "I don't trust you." 

"There is tons of evidence that -"

"Ryan, you like candy corn. I can no longer trust you about _anything_." 

"Shane," said Ryan, "that hurt." 

He put a hand over his heart like an actor from a melodrama. 

Shane rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, so I can trust you about some stuff," said Shane quickly. "I trust your movie taste."

"I'm glad you can trust my movie taste," Ryan said dryly.

"At least when it comes to horror movies," said Shane. 

"I do watch other movies, y'know," said Ryan.

Shane could feel the ground rumbling under him, but he wasn't really sure how to stop digging. 

"Yeah, you're right," said Shane. "You've got a whole bunch of interests that aren't horror movies or sports."

"Do I?"

Ryan's face was flat.

"Oh yeah," said Shane. "You like true crime, too!"

"You know," said Ryan, "I think you're chewing on your knee at this point."

"Well," said Shane, "at least it's further proof of my deepthroating skills, considering how much leg I'd have to have in the way."

Ryan blushed, the way Shane had predicted, and Shane bit his lip to keep from snickering.

Ryan could be easy to distract, in certain respects.

"Um," said Ryan. 

"Mmm?"

Shane raised an eyebrow.

"Um," said Ryan, and he cleared his throat again. 

"Something wrong, Ryan?"

It was nice to have the upper hand.

"Nothing is wrong," Ryan said, and he took a handful of candy corn, shoving it into his mouth.

Shane resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose - he could smell the corn syrup from here. 

"I still can't believe you eat that stuff," Shane said.

"What other candy can you make vampire fangs?"

Ryan grabbed two of the vile little kernels and shoved them onto his canine teeth.

Shane made a face.

His own teeth were shrinking away from it already - that looked downright painful. 

"Bluh bluh bluh," said Ryan, and he held his hands up, waving them around.

Shane wrinkled his nose.

"Do you not fear the wampire?"

"... wampire."

It was Shane's turn to be deadpan.

"I am the fearsome wampire," said Ryan, and he stood up from his spot on the couch, stretching like a cat, both arms over his head.

He still had the two pieces of candy corn on his canine teeth, and that was gross and weird, but he was coming in to kiss Shane, and Shane was stuck.

On the one hand, kissing Ryan; he loved kissing Ryan.

On the other hand... candy corn.

This felt like something close to betrayal, but he still let Ryan's mouth press against his, still opened his mouth for Ryan's tongue.

Even though it tasted faintly like candy corn.

Urgh.

Shane pulled back, his nose still wrinkled.

"Could you take the candy corn off of your teeth, please?"

"I didn't realize your aversion was _that_ strong," said Ryan, but he was pulling the candy corn off of his teeth, chewing it up carefully. Then he was leaning in to kiss Shane again, and Shane was leaning back, trying not to come off as too... well, picky. 

But he was picky.

"Dude," said Ryan, and he looked somewhere between irritated and amused.

"What?"

"I've found your weakness," Ryan said. "Like fuck I'm not gonna exploit it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Shane said, trying to keep his tone lofty, as he settled back into his seat.

He took a drink of water, to clear the taste out of his mouth. 

"You'll see," said Ryan, and he looked smug. 

Shane rolled his eyes, and he stretched, his arms over his head.

"You want me to suck you off?"

It was, admittedly, cheating; he could always distract Ryan with a blowjob.

And of course, Ryan turned red.

"What?"

"A blowjob. Fellatio. Playing the skin flute. I'm sure there's a whole bunch of euphemisms that I'm probably missing, but I can't think of any." 

“Why are you offering me oral sex?”

Ryan had an eyebrow up. 

“I can’t offer my boyfriend slash co-host slash best friend some kind of sexy thing, without you being suspicious?” 

“I think that when we’ve had a whole conversation where you insult my favorite candy -”

“It’s your favorite candy now? That’s new.”

“I can have a few favorites,” said Ryan. “It’s my favorite of the season.” 

“What about caramel apples? Nothing is as good as caramel apples.”

“Caramel gets stuck in my teeth,” said Ryan, making a face. “Plus, eating caramel apples takes _forever_! Whereas a handful of candy corn, you can just, y’know, eat.”

“You can just eat a caramel apple,” said Shane.

“Eating a caramel apple is a whole procedure,” said Ryan.

“As is a blowjob,” said Shane. “So would you like one?” 

“I mean,” said Ryan, “I wouldn’t say no….”

He made a face that was possibly meant to be alluring, but mainly looked like his eyebrows were trying to escape his face.

Shane rolled his eyes, and he got on his knees. 

Ryan looked down at him, and wow, but what a view.

Ryan had a nice face.

A very nice face.

As far as Shane was concerned, when it came to faces, Ryan's was in the top five, tied with Sara.

Not that he rated faces but, well... okay.

Maybe he was a little dumb right now.

He couldn't help it. 

Not entirely.

It was just... Ryan made him stupid. 

"I'd eat candy corn for you," Shane blurted out, his hands on Ryan's inner thighs.

Ryan blinked down at him.

"What?"

"I like you enough that I'd be willing to eat candy corn, if you really wanted me to," said Shane, and he was kneading at Ryan's thighs.

Ryan was wearing jeans, and the denim was rough under Shane's palms.

"I thought you hated candy corn," said Ryan.

"I do," said Shane. 

He traced up along the inner seam of Ryan's jeans, towards the crotch. 

Ryan's cock wasn't fully hard yet, but it was most definitely on its way - it was swelling up, and when Shane pressed down on it, gently, Ryan shuddered, his hips rolling forward. 

"Fuck," Ryan said, and his voice cracked. "You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do a lot of things for you," Shane said. 

This was getting... more gooey than Shane had intended it to.

Or maybe just a different sort of gooey - giving someone head, if done right, usually resulted in a good deal of goo.

Ryan sighed, and he leaned back into the couch, his fingers sliding through Shane's hair.

"Would you say that ghosts are real, if I asked you to?"

Ryan's tone was one of polite inquiry, but there was stuff behind it that made the hairs on the back of Shane's neck prickle.

"Nope," said Shane. "I've got my limits."

"So you'd eat something you find vile before you'd admit to ghosts being real?"

"I can wash my mouth out, after I've eaten candy corn," said Shane. "I can't really take back a lie."

"But it wouldn't be a lie," Ryan said. 

He was beginning to lose his erection, and he was also beginning to get that specific tone of voice he always got, when he was being really insistent on something.

Shane could sense the upcoming argument - he didn't need that in his life.

Okay.

Shane leaned forward, and he licked along Ryan's cock, through the jeans.

The denim was... well, it was denim.

It was rough under his tongue, and it smelled like Ryan.

Ryan shuddered, his hands on Shane's head, pressing Shane into his crotch, gently. His heels were digging into the couch, and his back was beginning to arch.

Shane grinned, and he clumsily wrapped his lips around the head of Ryan's cock, through Ryan's boxers and Ryan's pants.

It was probably an awkward angle - could Ryan even feel it?

He looked up, making eye contact with Ryan, and Ryan stared down at him, eyes wide.

That was one of the joys of being intimate with the guy - he always seemed slightly shell shocked, that someone would want to be close with him like this.

It sometimes bugged Shane, since... well, Ryan was so fucking amazing, and goddamn it, why didn't Ryan see that?

But Ryan was getting better about that, and Shane didn't need to worry about that too much, he just had to enjoy himself, and bring about enough enjoyment for Ryan in the process.

Ryan's hands were tangling in Shane's hair now, and Shane pulled back to look up at Ryan.

"How's that?"

"It's great," Ryan said, and his voice cracked. "Can you... I mean, uh...."

"Hmm?"

Shane raised an eyebrow, trying to look arch and put together.

It was harder than you'd think.

His own cock was throbbing in his pants like a broken tooth, and his mouth _still_ tasted like candy corn. 

Oh well.

"Can you take my dick out, please?"

Ryan sounded pretty close to sheepish, which was pretty adorable, all things considered.

"I mean, I can," Shane said, and he rubbed his palm along the length of Ryan's cock, just to make Ryan squirm.

Ryan groaned like he was dying, his toes curling. 

"Now is _not_ the time to be pedantic," he mumbled.

"Au contraire," said Shane. "When is it not a good time to be a pedant?"

"When I will get up and jerk off in the bathroom if you keep it up," said Ryan.

"Okay, okay," said Shane, and he made a big show of unbuttoning and unzipping Ryan's jeans, spreading them open like the petals of some big, ugly flower.

... wow, that was a simile. 

He grinned a bit to himself, and he slid his hand inside of Ryan's pants, wrapping his hand around Ryan's cock, his thumb resting on the underside of the head, his fingers trailing along the shaft.

"Fuck," Ryan said, and his voice cracked. 

"Do you want to?"

As if the idea didn't make Shane's heart beat that much faster.

As if Shane wasn't shaking in his boots, just a bit, arousal unspooling in his belly like a giant ball of yarn, sending tendrils all through his body. 

"Depends in what direction," said Ryan.

"What direction?"

"Well," said Ryan, "I dunno if I feel like topping. But if you were up for fucking me...."

"I'm up for fucking you," Shane said in a rush, and maybe he was blushing a bit at his eagerness, but... fuck it. 

"You sound awfully eager," said Ryan. 

"How can I not sound eager, when you're offering me an all expenses paid trip to Orgasmville?"

There was an audible pause.

It was practically a _visible_ pause, and then Ryan was glaring at Shane.

"If I was any less turned on, I would be getting up and leaving right now," Ryan told Shane. "I just want you to know that."

"Okay," said Shane, as he stroked Ryan's cock, a long, sweet stroke.

Ryan shuddered, his hips rolling forward.

He was already beginning to leak pre-cum, his cock throbbing in Shane's hand. 

Shane leaned forward, and he wrapped his mouth around the very tip of it, his lips right up against Ryan's circumcision scar.

Ryan shuddered against him, and his fingers were tugging on Shane's hair, hard enough that he was probably going to have marks. 

It was a little painful, but Shane wasn't going to complain too hard.

He bobbed his head, sucking a little harder, his tongue jabbing into the slit, tasting the salt of Ryan's pre.

Ryan was making incoherent, desperate noises, thrashing on the couch and moaning like he was in pain.

His hips were rolling, and Shane had to be careful not to gag, keeping his mouth open, keeping his throat open as well.

Ryan whined and tugged on Shane's hair, as Shane began to bob his head some more.

Shane was drooling, straight down Ryan's shaft, onto Ryan's balls.

Ryan was still squirming, his hips rocking forward, his mouth falling open.

God, but he made the prettiest noises.

"Fuck," Ryan said, and his voice cracked. "Fuck, Shane!"

"Mmm?"

Shane pulled off of the head of Ryan's cock, to suck along the shaft, hard enough that Ryan shuddered, his hips still jerking forward.

"You're... you're g-g-good at this," Ryan mumbled.

Shane chuckled, a little exhalation of hot air, and Ryan's hips jerked forward again.

Shane kissed lower, shoving Ryan's jeans down (there was a minute or so of wrangling, and then Ryan's bare ass was on the couch), and then Shane had his mouth on Ryan's balls.

Ryan made a deep, desperate noise, his hips jerking forward, and the underside of his shaft smeared across Shane's face, wet with pre-cum and Shane's own saliva.

Shane took one of Ryan's balls into his mouth, and he sucked on it, tracing his tongue along the seam, his other hand wrapped loosely around Ryan's cock, jerking him off leisurely. 

Ryan was making desperate, undignified noises, which was all sorts of gratifying. 

The guy was usually so deep in his own head that getting him to let go like this was always a treat.

"Fuck, Shane, oh god, oh god, oh... _god_."

Shane kissed up one thigh, carefully, tasting Ryan's skin, digging his teeth in just enough to make Ryan's cock twitch.

... Ryan's cock, which was leaving a wet spot on Ryan's shirt.

Oh well. 

They could do laundry.

Ryan was still thrashing, his mouth wide open, his hips jerking forward.

"Please," Ryan said, and his voice cracked.

"Mmm?"

Shane sat back on his heels, and he grabbed Ryan by the hips, so that Ryan was more or less dangling off of the edge of the couch, his butt completely accessible to Shane.

"What are you planning?"

Ryan's voice was needy, but there was something funny about hearing him say that - he used the same phrase when they were discussing something they were going to be filming, albeit without the same desperate, needy tone.

"I was thinking of eating your ass," Shane said, keeping his tone casual, as if they were discussing what angle they wanted to shoot from. 

"Oh," said Ryan. "Um. Okay. Yeah, I'm... I'm good for that."

"Good to know," Shane said, settling back onto his haunches, grabbing Ryan's ass in both hands, using his thumbs to spread Ryan a little bit open.

"Oh god," Ryan groaned, and he was squirming.

Shane glanced up, and saw that Ryan was still hard, his hands over his face.

"What's up?"

Just the tone of polite inquiry, as Shane began to kiss down Ryan's thighs.

"It's... it's a lot," Ryan said. "You go from bitching about candy corn to offering me a rim job."

"I mean," said Shane, "in fairness, it'll taste better than candy corn."

"I don't know if I'm insulted by that," said Ryan.

"Your ass is clean," said Shane, "you'd tell me otherwise. And I _know_ you taste better than candy corn."

"Gee, thanks," grumbled Ryan. 

"Of course," said Shane, and then he was rearranging things again, so that Ryan's knees were on his shoulders, Ryan's heels digging into his back.

Ryan's hands were still in his hair, of course.

"You're entirely too smug about this," Ryan said.

"About what?"

Shane teased along the rim of Ryan's hole with his thumb - it tried to pull his thumb in, as Ryan squirmed on top of him, his heels digging into Shane's back.

"About your amazing mouth abilities," Ryan said.

"A thousand pardons," Shane said, his tone dry as old bones.

And then he leaned forward, and he licked Ryan's hole.

Well, more accurately, he licked Ryan from hole to the tip of his cock, pausing to suck on Ryan’s balls because, well… he could.

Ryan shuddered, a full body shudder, and Shane grinned like a shark, and spread Ryan open again, opening his mouth a little wider, sliding his tongue into Ryan’s ass.

“I cannot believe you’re willing to eat ass, but you complain about eating candy corn,” said Ryan, and his hands were on the back of Shane’s head. 

Shane rolled his eyes, and he kept licing and sucking, his tongue still working inside of Ryan. 

“I mean it,” said Ryan. “Fuck, just like that, your tongue is… amazing.”

“Listen,” Shane said, and he pulled back, kissing along the inside of one thigh, “either I can argue about candy corn, or I can eat your ass. Do you have a preference?”

“... please keep eating my ass,” Ryan said, his tone meek. 

“That’s what I thought,” Shane said, his tone smug, and then it was back into the fray.

… as it were.

He was fucking Ryan with his tongue, and Ryan’s cock was already beginning to twitch and drip down the shaft, as Ryan’s hands got tighter in his hair.

“Fuck, Shane, I’m… so close….”

Shane pulled back, and he slid his fingers into Ryan’s ass, curling them carefully.

Ryan was lubed up nicely from all of the licking, and Ryan was usually easy to open up. 

“There we go,” said Shane, as Ryan groaned over him. “C’mon, just… enjoy yourself, there you go….” 

“That dirty talk isn’t very sexy,” Ryan grumbled, even as he rolled his hips forward.

“What _would_ be sexy, then?”

Shane crooked his fingers in the traditional “come hither” motion, pressing down on Ryan’s prostate.

Ryan’s cock twitched like a tuning fork in front of Shane’s face, and then Shane was leaning forward, taking it back into his mouth.

Ryan’s cock was salty, thick and wet under his tongue, and Ryan’s ass was grasping him desperately, velvety inside.

Ryan was making desperate, panting little noises, and Shane was drinking it all in.

Shane shoved his hand into his chinos, and he rubbed his cock, then fumbled his button open, one handed. 

He stroked himself, swallowing down Ryan’s pre-cum and bobbing his head, hollowing his cheeks out occasionally, taking Ryan deep enough that he would cough, then coming back up for air.

Ryan sobbed, and his hips were working faster.

Time kind of...blurred. 

Shane remembered things in bits, afterwards.

The thickness of Ryan’s cock and the silkiness of its skin, right across Shane’s tongue, along the insides of his cheek.

The salty-bitter-sweetness of Ryan’s pre-cum.

The tight heat of Ryan’s ass, clenching around Shane’s fingers. 

The wetness of Shane’s own pre-cum, under his own hand. 

The look on Ryan’s face, when Shane pulled back, until he just had the very tip of Ryan’s cock in his mouth, the head resting on his lower lip.

The way Ryan’s cock twitched and spasmed, as Ryan swallowed him down. 

The feel of Ryan’s pubic hair, right against his nose as he took Ryan’s cock down his throat, gagging around it. 

And then time came slamming back, because Ryan’s cock was swelling, and Ryan’s hips were jerking forward.

“I’m gonna cum, Shane, fuck, I’m gonna cum in your mouth if you don’t get… off….”

Shane pulled off of Ryan’s cock, because this particular quip couldn’t be ignored.

“I thought you were the one getting off,” said Shane, and he pressed down a little harder, on Ryan’s prostate.

… which set Ryan’s orgasm off.

Shane was hit in the cheek with a string of jizz, then another, as it went across the bridge of his nose.

He made an irritated noise, but he kept massaging Ryan’s prostate, jerking his own cock a little faster.

“You deserved that,” Ryan said, and even in his post orgasm haze, he managed to sound smug.

Shane rolled his eyes, and he pulled his fingers back, then stood up.

There was still jizz dripping down his face, but god, it was good to stroke his own cock, and then… Ryan was leaning forward, and he was sucking Shane’s cock. 

His mouth was hot, silky, and his tongue was doing things that Shane couldn’t figure out, because it was hard to think when Ryan was doing _that_ , and Shane’s hips rolled forward.

“Ryan, I’m so… close, please, _fuck_!”

Ryan gave an awkward thumbs up, and the sweet pleasure crested inside of Shane, and he hunched his hips forward, his abs spasming. 

He came down Ryan’s throat, and he was shaking, his hands in Ryan’s hair, which… actually, Ryan was going to have to wash his hair.

Oh well.

The pleasure swirled down Shane’s back, filled him up like water in a glass, and then he was left weak kneed and panting, slumping over Ryan, his hands in Shane’s hair. 

Ryan pulled off of Shane’s cock with a wet sound. 

“So you seriously think that jizz tastes better than candy corn?”

Ryan’s voice was rough. 

“Oh yeah,” Shane said, as he collapsed onto the floor, flat on his back.

The jizz on his face had dripped down his chin.

“So the message I’m getting,” Ryan said, prodding Shane with one foot, “is that if I want you to give me a blowjob, I should just give you candy corn.”

Shane wrapped his hand around Ryan’s ankle, squeezing it, and he gave Ryan a Look. 

“There are more straightforward ways to ask for a blowjob, y’know,” he told Ryan. 

“Yeah, but they’re less fun,” said Ryan, and Shane didn’t have to see Ryan’s face to know the guy was smirking.

Jerk.

* * *

Nobody at work understood why Shane blushed so hard at the little bag of candy corn on his keyboard, or why Ryan was laughing so hard.

Then again, the Ghoul Boys were kind of known for being weird. 

It wouldn’t do to look too deeply into it.


End file.
